Guest Columnist: Dr.Missy, Feelings Helper

This week’s Topic: Emotionally Safe Homes……..

Emotionally Safe Homes

Is your home an emotionally safe place for your children? Is your house a shelter from the world outside the door? Emotionally safe homes show a balance of unconditional love and consistent discipline.

Emotionally safe parents allow children to express all of their feelings. Katy rushes in from school and shouts, “I hate my teacher!” Instead of telling Katy that it is wrong to hate anybody, her mother calmly replied, “You’re having a strong feeling. Tell me about it.” Emotions serve a purpose and feelings are part of the human hardware.

Jesse, an adolescent male, screams at his stepfather, “I hate you! You’re not my Dad. I want to go to the party!” Instead of yelling back, “Well then, I hate you too!” his stepfather calmly says, “There were times I thought I hated my stepfather too and I was really angry at him. I can understand that feeling. After you calm down we’ll talk some more.” Later, Jesse apologized. The stepfather avoided a power struggle and didn’t shame Jesse.

Cindy was cut from the school basketball team and she cried on the way home when her father picked her up. Instead of saying, “Don’t cry. You can try out next year” the father stated, “I can see you are feeling sad. I’m sorry about it.” He allowed Cindy to cry and express her feelings through tears. He didn’t offer ice cream or a new outfit to try to fix her disappointment.

When a child feels a relentless stream of being rejected, judged, invalidated, shamed, blamed, commanded, interrogated, humiliated, mocked, smothered, threatened, or silenced he/she may feel unsafe, unloved, and unwanted. Kids internalize these reactions from their caregivers and develop the faulty belief that “I am a bad person” or “I don’t deserve to be loved.”

Conditional love that is based on a child’s achievement, appearance, or expectations of perfectionism may produce a kid who underachieves or overachieves. Children want to be loved regardless of their intelligence, beauty, or talents.

Excessive rules and punishment may instill feelings of anger, guilt, and resentment. Discipline is communicating, understanding, teaching, and setting clear boundaries with appropriate consequences. Discipline is not instilling fear in children.

Parents’ intense marital or partner problems played out in front of children may produce feelings of insecurity, anger, or anxiety. Burdening children with adult problems negates emotional safety.

In a three-year study of 300 families, Dr. Gordon Harold, showed films of adults arguing in different ways to children. He interviewed the children about their parents’ fights. His research revealed that the way parents fight threatens their kid’s emotional stability even if the argument is not about them. Parents that resolve conflict in respectful ways can teach children how to communicate, negotiate, and disagree without screaming or fury.

Divorced parents who talk to each other through the children are producing an environment of apprehension and confusion, especially when the conversation focuses on child support. Kids need emotional safety in both homes.

Extreme sibling rivalry, jealousy, or revenge may instill fear and anxiety. Allowing older siblings to hit and scream at younger siblings, call names and make rude comments, or take personal belongings may produce low self-worth. A study published in the journal Pediatrics found that sibling bullying is harmful to a child or teenager’s mental health. Sibling aggression was related to an increase in depression, anxiety, and anger management issues.

Being an emotionally safe parent does not mean that you allow your child to scream or curse at you, disrespect you and break rules, or steal from you with lying or manipulation. A safe parent stays calm and doesn’t shout, “You make me so mad! What’s wrong with you? You’re a spoiled brat!” A safe parent learns to manage his/her own emotions and reactions. All families have problems and all parents make mistakes. However, please make an emotionally safe home a top family goal.

Dr. Missy, Ph.D., is a feelings helper, child therapist, consultant, educator, and self-syndicated columnist. She provides therapeutic services at Affirmations, Columbus, Ohio. Contact her at



Chowline: Do not (I repeat) do not rinse the turkey

If your step-by-step guide to preparing Thanksgiving dinner includes the recommendation to rinse off the turkey, please skip that step…….

I see conflicting guidance about whether or not to rinse the turkey before roasting it. So, should I or shouldn’t I?

Despite what you might read in your favorite cookbook or go-to online recipe site, food safety authorities are steadfast in their warning not to rinse off raw turkey.

This has been the recommendation for years, in fact. Unfortunately, if you search the Internet, you may find many faulty recommendations that involve rinsing and pat drying the turkey before setting it in the roasting pan. This just doesn’t make sense, and causes more problems than it solves.

The reason is twofold: First, rinsing doesn’t work. It’s true that raw poultry sold in the U.S. is often contaminated with Campylobacter, Salmonella or some other bacteria. It’s also true that poultry is the fourth most common food associated with foodborne illness, and the most common culprit behind deaths from foodborne illness in the U.S. But research by the British Food Standards Agency between 2000 and 2003 showed that rinsing off whole poultry, or beef for that matter, does not actually remove all of the bacteria from the surface of the meat.

Second, and even more important, the act of rinsing off the turkey can actually splatter some bacteria from the surface of the meat all over your sink, onto your kitchen counter and over to anything that happens to be around it — the just-washed breakfast dishes in the drainer, for example, or the cutting board where you’re about to prepare a relish tray. Some estimates say the splatter can spread up to 3 feet away. The researchers examined what happens when people rinse off raw meat, and they concluded that the only effect is that it actually increases the likelihood of contaminating your hands and nearby surfaces. And it’s likely to strike places where you’ll be preparing foods that will not be cooked or roasted in an oven for a few hours where all that bacteria will be destroyed.

photo: iStock
photo: iStock

What’s more, most people don’t clean up properly. According to the research, people tend to wipe down a counter or sink with a damp cloth and figure they’ve taken care of any microbiological hazard. Sure, you may be more careful than that. After the turkey is in the oven you might wash everything down with hot, soapy water, rinse it off, let it dry and then follow up with a santizing cloth or bleach solution. But it’s Thanksgiving Day — do you really have time for that? Wouldn’t you agree that it’s much easier not to rinse off the turkey in the first place?

So, if your step-by-step guide to preparing Thanksgiving dinner includes the recommendation to rinse off the turkey, please skip that step, and you can feel quite smug about the decision. But be sure to wash your hands, and do so properly — with soap, for at least 20 seconds, rinsing under warm running water, and drying with a clean cloth or paper towel. Washing your hands properly and often is the best thing you can do to prevent foodborne illness.

For more food safety guidance for the holidays and all year round, see

Chow Line is a service of the College of Food, Agricultural, and Environmental Sciences and its outreach and research arms, Ohio State University Extension and the Ohio Agricultural Research and Development Center. Send questions to Chow Line, c/o Martha Filipic, 2021 Coffey Road, Columbus, OH 43210-1043, or


With Nearly One-in-Seven Ohio Families Lacking Reliable Access to Food, Brown will Urge Northwest Ohioans to Support Local Food Banks this Holiday Season


 TOLEDO, OH – In advance of Thanksgiving holiday, U.S. Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-OH) will visit the Toledo Northwestern Ohio Food Bank on Friday to urge the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) to increase its contributions to ensure food pantries can continue to serve their communities. With nearly one-in-seven Ohio families lacking reliable access to food, Brown will join Jim Caldwell, president and CEO of the Toledo Northwestern Ohio Food Bank, and community volunteers to call for increased federal funding and urge northwest Ohioans to donate to local foodbanks this holiday season.

Because of increased demand, many Ohio food banks rely on the Emergency Food Assistance Program (TEFAP) to supply low-income senior citizens and families with nutritious commodity foods, including canned fruits and vegetables, meat, poultry, fish, beans, pasta, peanut butter, rice, and soups. But unless the USDA increases funding, the program will see a reduction in funding, leaving many food pantries in Ohio and across the country with the prospect of seriously depleted food stock.

W. C. Humane Society Hires Staff New Members

Wood County Humane Society Hires Humane Agent

(Bowling Green)- Wood County Humane Society (WCHS) has obtained a new hire. Katie McClure has been in the position of humane agent for a few months. McClure played basketball at Owens Community College and obtained a bachelor degree in criminal justice from Tiffin University. Her work history entails loss prevention, security officer, and work in the Juvenile Justice System for six years.

Humane Society New Hires Katie
Katie McClure

The tasks obligated for the humane agent include investigating any allegations of animal cruelty or neglect, issuing citations, to file complaints with court for violations, prepare and execute search warrants, and gathering evidence for criminal cases. To appear and testify in court and  educate the community about humane animal treatment are also on the job requirement inventory.

This position calls for good working relationships with the public compromised of area judges, prosecutors, veterinarians, media, WCHS board and staff and the community at large. McClure conveyed, “I look forward to working with WCHS staff and other agencies involved in creating a better life for animals. I have a passion for animals and hope to make a difference in the community.”

Tim Sanders hired as Assistant Manager at Humane Society

(Bowling Green)- There is a new face at Wood County Humane Society, assistant manager Tim Sanders. He started a career in animal welfare as a volunteer at the Williams County Humane Society. Sanders was offered a position as kennel technician and quickly moved to assistant shelter manager. He served a stint of five years at Williams County.  The next position held by Sanders was at Toledo Area Humane Society as animal care and adoption counselor. This was for three years before becoming a member of Wood County Humane Society staff.

Humane Society New Hires Tim
Tim Sanders

Job duties for Sanders, as assistant manager, will focus on adoptions, including the application and contract process, in addition to the follow up after an adoption, to ensure success for the animal in a forever home. Shelter inventory on food and supplies is also on the roster of job responsibilities. Lastly, organizing the foster program which entails creating a manual for the foster volunteers.

“I have a lot of new, exciting, and fresh ideas I would like to try here at Wood County and I know people will enjoy them too” Sanders stated. Sanders adopted a pet of his own while employed with the humane society. A cat by the name of Katana who is partially blind and is a bundle of joy for him. If you are interested in meeting Tim Sanders please stop by the shelter located at 801 Van Camp Road, Bowling Green, Ohio and introduce yourself.

Part Time Veterinarian Position Filled

(Bowling Green)- Stephanie Fecht, DVM filled the independent contractor position of part time veterinarian at the Wood County Humane Society (WCHS). Fecht hails from Wisconsin. She attended University of Wisconsin in Madison for undergraduate and veterinary school. After graduating, Fecht initially worked as a large animal veterinarian, then later to mixed animals. Fecht moved to Ohio seven years ago. The last five years she has been involved with shelter medicine which has brought her to Wood County Humane Society.

The part time veterinarian has job requirements that cover medical examinations, health, and monitoring of animals in the care of the organization, including any foster animals. Fecht is responsible for performing surgeries, spay/neuter procedures, and dental care. Medication logs and medical records will fall in the scope of her duties.

“Dr. Fecht is one of only three veterinarians in northwest Ohio experienced in shelter medicine so we are very lucky to have her. She is a very skilled surgeon. Shelter medicine has advanced as a field so much in the last ten to fifteen years. It is now a recognized boarded specialty. There are differences in vaccines used, the schedule they are administered on, differences in medications chosen for treatment, and differences in thinking of the animals in the shelter as a group or ‘herd’ that are not considerations a private practice veterinarian would be familiar with” states Deb Johnson, DVM, Vice President of Shelter Operations for Wood County Humane Society.

Fecht has a full plate with a husband and three children ages eight, six, and four. The Fecht family lives in the country with a variety of pets consisting of four horses, two goats, one dog, three cats, two guinea pigs, several chicken, ducks, and fish. She also talks with children about careers in veterinary medicine.

The WCHS, located in Bowling Green, Ohio, is a private, non-profit managed admission shelter providing care for homeless and abused pets and investigating cruelty complaints in Wood County. The organization receives no funding from government organizations, The United Way, or national humane organizations, instead relying on earned revenue and the generosity of individual donors and businesses to fund our programs such as Safe Haven and food assistance programs, spay/neuter transport, and educational presentations. The WCHS provides care for hundreds of animals each year—from dogs and cats, to horses, goats, and pocket pets. All animals admitted into our adoption program are housed and cared for as long as it takes to find their fur-ever home. For more information on adopting and/or volunteering, see:

Wood County Humane Society Newsletter – October 2015

If you have any concerns for an animal please do not hesitate to contact the Wood County Humane Society at 419-352-7339 or stop in to the shelter located at 801 Van Camp Rd, Bowling Green, Ohio.


Guest Columnist: Dr. Missy, Feelings Helper

“Emotional eating and binge eating”

Children often observe and repeat the same behaviors of their parents and caregivers. Adults who experience an unhealthy relationship with food need to address emotional eating before their children go down the same path.


Answer the following questions. Do you eat a lot of food in a brief period of time? Do you frequently feel out of control when you eat? Do you eat when you are not hungry? Do you eat to soothe your feelings? Do you eat to distract yourself from uncomfortable or painful thoughts? Do you eat in secret? Do you experience feelings of guilt, shame, and disgust when you overeat? Do you feel sad or depressed after eating a large amount of food? Do you have a love-hate relationship with food?


Emotional eating can be a symptom of an eating disorder. A mental health assessment will help determine a diagnosis for a binge eating disorder (BED). An eating disorder is not about food. It’s about using food to self-medicate instead of processing, expressing, and managing emotions. Individuals with a binge eating problem eat unusually large amounts of food on a regular basis and they do not purge. Depression and anxiety often accompany an eating disorder.


Reasons for compulsive (emotional) overeating may include: escaping from emotional pain, trying to cope with daily stress and distress, filling an inner emptiness, substituting food for affection, feeling anxious or depressed, a need for control, or being isolated or lonely.


Some individuals may overeat due to biological and physiological reasons. The hypothalamus controls appetite and this part of the brain may have a problem with sending messages of hunger and fullness. Thyroid testing may be needed. Please consult a physician.


Serotonin is a brain chemical that affects mood and may also play a role in binge eating. You may need an assessment by a psychiatrist for consideration of medication.


According to a Dove Internal Study, over 50% of women say their body disgusts them. The Dove Girls are showing up on billboards and in magazines in their underwear to promote self-image and self-esteem. Visit website: for information on Dove’s self-Esteem program for adolescent girls.


Does your child or adolescent hide or hoard food? Does she turn to food when distressed or stressed? Does he think and talk about food a lot? Does she crave sugary snacks and became upset when these foods are not available? Does he experience symptoms of depression or anxiety and use food to self-soothe?


Overeating may lead to weight gain and unhealthy dieting. Children with a binge eating disorder do not purge (vomit) after gorging on food. Dieting is a risk factor for developing an eating disorder. The body requires food on a regular basis to operate effectively. It needs protein for cell formation and growth and mental alertness, carbohydrates for energy, and fat for hormone production and neurological development in children and adolescents. Visit www. for more information.


Adults can help children accept themselves and others regardless of body shape, size, weight, height or appearance; understand normative weight gain during puberty; recognize cultural messages about unrealistic thinness and beauty; know the dangers of dieting for growing bodies; learn critical thinking skills to analyze media messages; learn about healthy lifestyle choices; and prevent weightism, size prejudice, and bullying by other children.


Please schedule an appointment for a mental health assessment with a child therapist if you are concerned about your child’s emotional eating behaviors. Treatment recommendations will be discussed. Along with a pediatrician, a child psychiatrist and a dietitian, a child therapist is an important member of a collaborative team.


Dr. Missy, Ph.D., is a feelings helper, child therapist, consultant, educator, and self-syndicated columnist. She provides therapeutic services at Affirmations, Columbus, Ohio. Contact her at




Chowline: Keep it simple to plan for healthful holidays

It’s easy to get carried away during holiday gatherings…….

Last year, I promised myself that after the holidays, I would eat healthier and exercise more. It never happened. This year, I don’t want to wait, but I also don’t want to set myself up for failure or be the Grinch during holiday gatherings. Any ideas?

First, recognize that it’s difficult to change our behaviors. Face it: If it were easy, you would have done it a long time ago. For a habit to stick, experts in behavior change say it’s important to keep a few strategies in mind:

  • Keep it simple. Focus on one realistic change at a time, and make it as easy and automatic as possible. Once you get into the habit — that is, once you find yourself doing the behavior without even thinking about it — you can try tackling something else. But not before.
  • Be specific. For example, instead of setting a goal to eat more fruits and vegetables, set a goal to eat at least one fruit and three vegetables each day. That way you can track your progress.
  • Celebrate your success. Give yourself an “attaboy” every time you practice your new habit. It might sound silly, but offering yourself a small pat on the back can make a big difference in whether your new behavior will actually become a habit.
  • Go public. Tell your friends and family about your goal and ask for their support. Be sure to tell them why you are trying something new — at the very least, that will help you make sure you yourself understand the reasons you want to make a change. It also helps you make sure it’s something you really want to do, not just something you feel obligated to do.

What sorts of new habits might be most helpful during the holidays? Here are some ideas:

  • Drink a pint of water before every meal. If you’re trying to lose weight, this simple strategy could be effective. According to a recent study in the journal Obesity, adults who drank 16 ounces of regular tap water before each meal, three times a day, lost almost 10 pounds in 12 weeks, compared with an average loss of less than 2 pounds for those who drank water before meals only once a day or not at all.  Chowline glass of water
  • Take a 15-minute brisk walk every day after dinner. While this small amount of extra activity would be beneficial for almost anyone, British researchers who reviewed studies involving older adults found that the biggest boost for longevity might be for people who are sedentary to start doing just a little moderate to vigorous exercise. They found that people over 60 who averaged 75 minutes of such exercise a week, or 15 minutes five days a week, were 22 percent less likely to die over 10 years than those who remained sedentary.
  • Limit alcohol consumption to recommended levels (or less). It’s easy to get carried away during holiday gatherings, but alcohol provides a lot of empty calories and consuming too much carries other health risks, as well. The recommended limit is one drink a day for women or two for men. One drink is equal to 12 ounces of beer, 5 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of liquor.

Chow Line is a service of the College of Food, Agricultural, and Environmental Sciences and its outreach and research arms, Ohio State University Extension and the Ohio Agricultural Research and Development Center. Send questions to Chow Line, c/o Martha Filipic, 2021 Coffey Road, Columbus, OH 43210-1043, or

Chowline: Preschool ideal time to focus on healthy eating

We recently moved, and my children are attending a new child care center. I’m surprised at how much it focuses on healthy eating and exercise, and I wonder if it’s a bit too much for preschoolers. Could it lead to a backlash later?

Actually, early childhood is the ideal time to establish healthy eating and physical activity habits. In fact, researchers of a recent study published in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology recommend promoting healthy diet and exercise with children as young as 3 to 5 years old to help prevent cardiovascular disease later in life. In their study, young children who were introduced to a heart-healthy lifestyle program showed better attitudes, habits and knowledge about heart health up to three years afterwards than children who weren’t exposed to the program. They were also less prone to be overweight or obese.

One way preschools and early child care centers can improve child nutrition is by providing healthy, locally grown foods. According to data gathered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, farm-to-school programs in schools improve acceptance of healthier foods in cafeterias by 28 percent and reduce the amount of food that students throw in the trash by 17 percent. And the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention supports such programs in early care and education settings, saying that such activities help to shape early taste preferences and support the formation of healthy habits to last a lifetime. “Farm to Preschool” activities include:

  • Purchasing locally grown foods for snacks and meals.
  • Garden-based educational programs.
  • Cooking demonstrations with local foods.
  • Classroom visits from farmers.

    photo credit: iStock

If your children’s child care center doesn’t already have a local foods program up and running, there are plenty of resources available to help. Both the National Farm to School Network ( and the USDA Food and Nutrition Service’s Farm to School program ( have information specifically for preschools and other early child care centers. Among their tips:

  • Start small, perhaps with a special local foods event or by providing one local food item each month.
  • Start simple. Fruits and vegetables are often the easiest locally sourced foods. Local milk is usually easy to find, too.
  • The child care center’s current food service company may be able to supply locally grown foods — the center just needs to ask. The center can also seek out local farmers willing to sell foods directly. State leaders with the National Farm to School Network can help link up your children’s center with local farmers. To find your state’s leader, see the listing at

Chow Line is a service of the College of Food, Agricultural, and Environmental Sciences and its outreach and research arms, Ohio State University Extension and the Ohio Agricultural Research and Development Center. Send questions to Chow Line, c/o Martha Filipic, 2021 Coffey Road, Columbus, OH 43210-1043, or

Guest Columnist: Dr. Missy, Feelings Helper-” Accept the skin you live in “

You can learn to accept the skin you live in. And you can help your child to do the same……

Accept the skin you live in


Children live what they learn and they learn by observing and imitating adults. Our daughters and our sons learn about self-image, body image, and accepting or rejecting body shape, size, and weight of self and others from adults. Parents, do you accept the skin you live in? Mothers, do you accept the skin you live in?


With all the Reality TV shows about cosmetic surgery, weight loss, physical body makeovers, glamour galore, teeth whitening, dental caps, breast implants, nose jobs, shiny hair, puffy lips, tanned skin, facelifts, tweezed eyebrows, high cheek bones, liposuction, skin rejuvenation, body waxing, and chemical peels, children might start to believe that the outside is more important than the inside. Sometimes you can buy external physical beauty but you cannot purchase inside beauty. Without internal self-acceptance life can be a chaotic hip-hop. What I want to say to you is that both the outside and the inside need attention. One does not have to be sacrificed for the other. It’s about balance.


However, my point is to proclaim that inside every human being is the core of the individual; a core made up of hopes, dreams, love, spirituality, compassion, passion, thoughts, emotions, motivation, desires and significance. Yes, I know our society worships the face and body and often forgets about what’s on the inside of the person. Our American culture portrays an unrealistic body shape of thinness. Celebrities’ parade in gorgeous skin polished with what money can buy and do. Glamour magazines photograph skinny girls and airbrush the facial imperfections. Makeup, hair products, and skin products dazzle and tempt us with visions of flawless beauty. Advertisers get rich from cashing in on our face and body insecurities. Supermodels prance and dance in (self-starved) skinny bodies and skimpy thongs. MTV portrays the slender females with giant breasts and shapely booties. Males are portrayed with massive biceps and tight abs.


Learning to accept the skin you live in can be difficult in a world of media mania and the exposé of paper doll thin (dieting) girls. Does the size of our jeans determine our worth as females or males? Can we work on our appearance while accepting ourselves as more than a face and body? Can we accept ourselves while we work on a healthy version of ourselves? We cannot change society’s opinions, but can we change our own? Yes, I think so. Females pass from childhood to girlhood to womanhood and although our bodies experience myriad changes, we still only get one body for our journey on this planet. Your body is not the enemy. Your body is your friend.


As an adult woman, I care about my appearance but I don’t obsess over it. I try to make healthy lifestyle choices and focus on a healthy mind and a healthy body. For many years after high school, I struggled with self-image, self-acceptance, and the connection to body image and self-image. During middle and high school and college days, I equated self-worth to physical beauty. I believe I’ve adopted a balanced view and made peace with my outside and inside. I’m aware it seems like it is easier for me to write these things now that I’m a middle-aged woman. And I know I do not live in your shoes and I have not experienced your life and feelings. However, help and healing is available by seeking counseling for yourself and for your child or teen. Low self-esteem and rejection of self can be a factor in depression and anxiety.


You can learn to accept the skin you live in. And you can help your child to do the same.


Dr. Missy, Ph.D., is a feelings helper, child therapist, consultant, educator, and self-syndicated columnist. She provides therapeutic services at Affirmations, Columbus, Ohio. Contact her at


Program at WCH for Men to be presented Tuesday

At any age, there are lifestyle habits to adopt to help maintain or improve health…..

Bowling Green, October 29, 2015 — A men’s wellness program, part of the “Barber Shop Talks,” will be held Tuesday, Nov. 3, 2015 at Wood County Hospital. Activities start at 6:30 p.m. and presentations begin at 7:00 p.m.

The topic is “Men’s Health and the Brain – Healthy Habits for a Healthier You.” The featured speaker is Cheryl Conley, MA, LSW, program director for the Alzheimer’s Association, NW Ohio Chapter.

At any age, there are lifestyle habits to adopt to help maintain or improve health. These habits may also help to keep brains healthy and possible delay the onset of cognitive decline.

This presentation will draw on current research on normal memory changes and what is not normal, as well as possible roles for exercise, red wine and chocolate in promoting healthy brains.

To register, go online at or call 419-354-8887.

Guest Column: Dr. Missy, Feelings Helper

This Week’s Topic: I want it now! Instant gratification and kids……

I want it now! Instant gratification and kids


“Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa now!” is the phrase one of the children shouted in the movie, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Instant gratification screams, “I want it and I want it now!”


“Instant gratification” is a term used to describe a situation, condition, or circumstance in which a person does not want to wait for desired results. “I must have it immediately.”


The Marshmallow Experiment is a famous test conducted by Walter Mischel at Stanford University. In the 1960s a group of four-year old children were tested by being given a marshmallow and promised another, only if they could wait a few minutes before eating the first one. Some children could wait and others could not. The researchers then followed the progress of each child into adolescence, and found that those with the ability to wait were better adjusted and more dependable (determined via surveys of their parents and teachers), and scored an average of 210 points higher on the Scholastic Aptitude Test. This study has been replicated by David Walsh and can be viewed on YouTube.
The following children experienced the instant gratification trap.


Michael demanded a candy bar at the grocery store. “Mommy, I want it right now!” He stuffed the item into his pocket while his mom wasn’t looking.


Sheena demanded a pair of expensive designer jeans. “I want it now! I must have it!” Her mother gave in and bought the jeans. Unfortunately, the water bill didn’t get paid.


Jose, an honor student wanted good grades in chemistry without studying. “I deserve it and I want it!” He cheated on an exam and got caught.


Kia, a 14-year-old teenager, drove her parent’s car into the swimming pool. She didn’t want to wait for her driver’s license.


Faulty beliefs about immediate gratification:

I must have it now.

I can’t wait any longer.

I deserve it this very minute.

I have to do it.

I have to buy it now.

Everybody else has it and I want it.

I must act on my impulses.

It’s okay to hurt others if I get what I want.


Emotions can fuel faulty beliefs. Help your child to write a list of the emotions he/she feels when they want something and believe they must have it now. Discuss the benefits of patience, impulse control, and the consequences of instant gratification.


Learning to wait and manage temptation and instant gratification is a part of human development. Toddlers begin to learn they cannot have everything they want immediately when parents set limits. Children learn that the cookie comes after dinner. Teenagers learn that homework comes before cell phones.


Read the following statements to your adolescents and invite them to agree or disagree.

I know the definition of instant gratification.

I have heard the phrase “immediate gratification” and delayed gratification.

I understand the difference between a need and a want.

I buy items on impulse.

I make hasty decisions to get what I want.

I can wait for something that I want.

I think about the consequences of my actions.

I nag my parents/guardians until I get what I want.

I shoplift to get what I want.

I manipulate others to get what I want.

I try to manage my desires.

I delay immediate gratification.

I use self-control.

I have a plan to manage my impulses.


Parenting involves understanding and discussing instant gratification with your children. Helping them to accept, process, and work through the feelings of frustration is essential.


Dr. Missy, Ph.D., is a feelings helper, child therapist, consultant, educator, and self-syndicated columnist. She provides therapeutic services at Affirmations, Columbus, Ohio. Contact her at




Briar Hill Health Campus received recognition for their customer satisfaction scores in Staff Attitude, Quality of Nursing Care, Food Quality, Activity Programming and Appearance/Cleanliness.

North Baltimore (October, 2015) – Briar Hill Health Campus received the Diamond Award for their commitment to customer service excellence at The Trilogy Health Services 2015 Fall Meeting, which was held October 7-8 in Ft. Wayne, Indiana.

The Award was based on feedback provided by residents and their families through Trilogy Health Services’ bi-annual Customer Satisfaction Survey. Responses to this survey are invaluable, and are used to identify opportunities for our campus to address in the coming goal period. Briar Hill Health Campus received recognition for their customer satisfaction scores in Staff Attitude, Quality of Nursing Care, Food Quality, Activity Programming and Appearance/Cleanliness.

We make it our mission at Briar Hill Health Campus to continually exceed the expectations of our customers, and consider our scores on the Customer Satisfaction Survey to be indicative of the quality of services we provide. This year we are proud to announce our overall score of 9.78!

“We are excited and pleased to receive such great recognition,” said Ashley Brough, Executive Director.  “We value the fact that our customers have given us their stamp of approval.  Our goal is to exceed the expectations of our residents and their families every day by delivering the best care possible. I feel very fortunate to lead such a wonderful team of healthcare professionals.”

We are also pleased to announce that 100% of the respondents to Briar Hill’s Customer Satisfaction Survey stated that they would recommend Briar Hill Health Campus to family and friends. This affirmation of Briar Hill’s high quality of services speaks to the positive impact our health campus has had on our residents and their families.

Companywide, over 7,900 surveys were mailed to family members and other responsible parties.  Nearly 54 percent of the surveys were returned.  Results compared to the campus’ past performance as well as to the performance of other Trilogy campuses.

Briar Hill Health Campus is a Trilogy Health Services community.  We offer a full range of personalized senior living services including short term rehab, skilled nursing, long term care, assisted living, outpatient therapy, and adult day care. Our services are delivered by staff specially trained to honor, and enhance the lives of our residents through compassion and commitment to exceeding customer expectations. For more information or to learn more about our services, please call us at 419-257-2421or visit our web site at

Briar Hill President's Award 2015 photo
Executive vice president Leigh Ann Barney

Colleen Rader our director of health services she’s in the middle and then Le

Chowline: The difference between flu, foodborne illness

Many people believe they’ve been untouched by foodborne illness, yet the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 48 million Americans, or 1 in 6, become ill due to food poisoning every year……..

I didn’t think I had ever had food poisoning until I read recently that many people mistake it for the flu. How can you tell the difference?

This isn’t surprising. Many people believe they’ve been untouched by foodborne illness, yet the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 48 million Americans, or 1 in 6, become ill due to food poisoning every year. What’s more, 128,000 become sick enough to be hospitalized, and 3,000 die.

Still, there’s a reason the most common type of foodborne illness, norovirus, is typically called the “stomach flu.” Norovirus actually isn’t a flu bug at all — it’s an entirely different type of virus that can be spread through contaminated food, water and surfaces as well as person-to-person contact.

Norovirus attacks the gastrointestinal tract, while influenza is a respiratory illness. The most common symptoms of norovirus are diarrhea, vomiting, nausea and cramping or stomach pain, with some people also experiencing low-grade fever, chills, fatigue, headache and body ache similar to the flu. Compare that list with the symptoms of influenza and you’ll see quite a bit of overlap: With the flu, you’ll normally experience fever or feverish chills, a cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, muscle or body aches, headache and fatigue, and some people may also have vomiting and diarrhea.

The flu and foodborne illness also have other similarities. Most people experience only mild illness (although it may not seem so at the time), and get better on their own. People most at risk from both types of viruses include people who are 65 and older, people with chronic medical conditions such as asthma, diabetes or heart disease, pregnant women, and young children.

In addition, both viruses can be spread person to person, and both are more common in late fall, winter and early spring.

  • Norovirus can spread quickly. According to the CDC, you can get it by:
  • Eating food or drinking liquids that are contaminated with norovirus.
  • Touching surfaces or objects with norovirus on them and then putting your hand or fingers in your mouth.
  • Having direct contact with a person who is infected.

To reduce your risk:

  • Wash your hands with soap and water carefully for 20 seconds or more before rinsing, especially after using the bathroom, changing diapers, and before eating or preparing food. Currently available alcohol-based hand sanitizers have not been proven to be very effective against the human norovirus. Use hand sanitizers only when hand-washing facilities are not available.
  • Carefully rinse fruits and vegetables, and cook oysters and other shellfish thoroughly.
  • If you’re sick, don’t prepare food for others while you have symptoms and for at least two days afterwards.
  • Clean and disinfect contaminated surfaces and laundry thoroughly.

    chowline washing hands

Chow Line is a service of the College of Food, Agricultural, and Environmental Sciences and its outreach and research arms, Ohio State University Extension and the Ohio Agricultural Research and Development Center. Send questions to Chow Line, c/o Martha Filipic, 2021 Coffey Road, Columbus, OH 43210-1043, or