News from Parenting Press: Chores and Youngest Children

Tip—Having toddlers and preschoolers help with household tasks increases their skills and self-esteem.

Parenting Press author Shari Steelsmith shares this comment regarding children and chores: “When my son was 2, I wondered if it was too early to expect him to help with certain tasks. It seemed that he arrived in this world absolutely opposed to putting away toys of any kind and responded to my teaching by screaming and hiding. It was a bit depressing.”

But, says parent educator Elizabeth Crary, Steelsmith’s son was perfectly normal for his age. According to Crary, most children pick up their things with help by age 4, with reminders at age 8, and will do it reliably alone about age 12.

Since toys were such an issue with Steelsmith’s son, she looked for other ways he could help. Parents typically do most everything for young children largely because they can’t do a lot themselves yet and because it’s so much easier and faster. Parent educator Kathryn Kvols points out that it’s better to have our youngest ones participate in tasks that benefit the whole family, not just themselves. This way they learn that each member of the family helps the family function. A preschooler who helps set the table can see that he is contributing to the family meal. He can see that his contribution made a difference. Self-esteem grows this way, parent educators agree.

Tools—Kvols lists a surprising number of ways in which children as young as 18 months old can help with common household tasks. Once you start thinking this way, you will be able to identify other things your young children can do to help the family.

You’ll find more practical tips you can use right now in Pick Up Your Socks . . . and Other Skills Growing Children Need! by Elizabeth Crary, M.S. and Redirecting Children’s Behavior by Kathryn J. Kvols.